Mushi Music’s Magic Menagerie

“I hereby call this emergency meeting, the Two Hundred Thirty-First Congress of Figments, to Session.”
Coelocanth, the Order Figment, remained standing, his deep voice reverberating through the halls. He was the eldest of the Figments, the first to arrive in this mundane universe. He had followed the laws of Chaos long before any of the other Figments were conceived.
He stared at his companions, six dedicated souls seated around a circular, stone table. One chair remained empty; it waited for the day its master would be free to sit upon it.
“We must begin at once, we have so much to discuss. As you are no doubt well aware, the game Anonymous is drawing to its close. Several players are close to achieving one million points. While this news should bring us all glad tidings, there have been some complications.
I have asked Jeckyll to explain his discoveries to you.”
Jeckyll stood rapidly, his wiry frame uncoiling from a cramped seating position. His body was long and skinny, full of angles as nearly sharp as his mind. The Logic Figment had a terse frown dancing on his thin lips.
“Welcome, friends. Ahem. I wish our meeting could be under more joyous circumstances. Unfortunately, I bring you both good news and bad news. Ahem. Allow me to start with the bad news.
The acceleration of randomness generation in the world has slowed down to almost zero points per day. Ahem. In other words, in the current situation it is unlikely we will reach the critical level of entropy required to release our master from his bondage.”
This news incited a roar of disappointment from the other Figments.
“What do you mean by this?” The table shook and rattled as Valkyrie, Violence Figment, slammed her fists down. Her face was a mask of wrath, from snarling lips to wrinkled brow. Her hair was done in thick pigtails that dangled down below her broad shoulders; the braids seemed to carry an electric charge, diffusing her anger from her core to the standing air around her. The Figments sitting on either side of her backed away cautiously.
“Everything we have done and worked for, all for naught? Unacceptable! Unforgivable! Explain this, scientist. Tell us who is responsible!”
“Ahem. Thank you, everyone, for allowing me finish my statements. I recalibrated on one of the entropometers, effectively rendering it an anti-entropometer. With it, I monitored the flow of the universe as it regains order. It appears that a growing number of entities are opposing the entropy we create.
If we don’t act quickly, the acceleration of randomness in the universe will become negative. Reality will reverse our hard work and start heading toward a more ordered reality, further from the goal we have set.”
“But isn’t that just how it goes?” Oedipus, the Irony Figment, had to propose an alternative opinion whenever possible. She was perched upside down in her seat, performing a headstand with her hands on the chair’s arms. She was wearing a black-and-white striped, strapless dress; both her breasts and her hemline ignored the effects of gravity completely. “The natural order is to return to a mean state, right? Isn’t that a simple explanation what is happening? It was inevitable.”
“I’m sorry sister, but I must beg to disagree with you. The natural trend is certainly towards chaos.” The Wilding Figment felt he was the definitive expert on what was natural. Terra refused to deal with artificial constructs unless absolutely necessary. Clothing did not fall anywhere near the necessary category. “Jeckyll, this trend that you’ve observed is certainly artificial. There is some disgusting, unnatural force working against us. ”
Lazarus, the Chronicle Figment, placed one finger on the table. “Quit wasting our time. You are both right, in a sense. Oedipus, the natural order does dictate a return to the median state. Terra, the force behind this negative acceleration is unnatural. However, you are both wrong in your assumptions, I can see that we are dealing with something entirely different from what we are used to. We are entering unfamiliar territory.” Lazarus was the least well-liked of the Figments. He had the gift of oracle, but he kept all of his visions to himself except when he liked to show off how much he knew about the future. The other Figments all agreed he was an ass. “I had a vision the other day-“
Jeckyll cleared his throat with exceptional vigor. “AHEM. I haven’t been able to finish what I have been needing to say.” He was beginning to get flustered. “I haven’t given you the worst news, yet.”
Oedipus rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath. “You mentioned good news and bad news, not worst news.”
The scientist ignored her remark and revealed the worst of tidings. “The agents responsible for this turn of events are human.”
Another fervorous din rose among the Figments.
“I knew you were going to say that,” Lazarus said quietly. “But I didn’t believe it.”
Valkyrie was up in arms once more, out of her seat with fists raised at the ceiling. “Don’t fuck around. That’s impossible! Are you trying to tell me that the mortals have discovered a means to compete with our power? Coelacanth, end this meeting right away. I’ll go crush those flimsy ants right away.”
Oedipus rolled her eyes. “You can’t seriously believe they’re responsible for this. There has got to be another more reasonable explanation. Maybe there’s a bizzarro version of us somewhere promoting order instead of chaos. Wouldn’t that be something?”
Valkyrie flashed a sneer back at Oedipus, but didn’t say anything.
Coelocanth was frowning. “Are you absolutely certain? There is no chance of error in your measurements?”
Jeckyll nodded. “Yes. I’m very sure. Ahem. I suppose it is possible that some scientists got a hold of some of our entropic devices and reverse engineered them. They could reverse the polarities and cancel the effects.”
“Who cares about why it’s happening? Let’s do something to fix it!” Valkyrie’s temper flared again; her mood was especially turbulent. “Let’s go slaughter those mortal bastards.”
Terra wouldn’t hear of it. “Come now, we’ve waited so long without killing them directly. Let’s just ride this out, it’s surely just temporary.”
“I don’t think so. How are they going to learn if we don’t teach them with our fists!”
The debate continued for almost an hour before everybody slowly ran out of constructive ideas. The intensity in the air cooled down from a violent boil to a low simmer. Oedipus turned to Jeckyll.
“Well, come on, give us that good news you promised us. Something has got to compensate for this disaster.”
Jeckyll looked perplexed. “Oh, did I mention that? Ahem. Well, yes, I suppose I’d forgotten all about that. I’m not actually the one who is going to say the good words. Ahem. Are you ready to speak for us?”
One of the figments had remained ominously silent throughout the entire debate. Ophelia, the Psyche Figment, had sat unperturbed as her peers argued ineffectively over different plans of action. She was the youngest of all the Figments, only a few years into the world. Because of her recent entry to this plane, she had a special connection that the others had lost over time; Ophelia was an interdimensional ansible.
“I have received another important message from our Lord and Master,” she rasped. It was obvious from the red of her eyes and her lack of energy that she had not slept much in the last several weeks. Communications came frequently, and were impossible to ignore. Recently, her head was constantly filled with the buzz of her Master’s thoughts and instructions.
“Come on, then. Spit it out! What did he say? Tell us!” Valkyrie waited on no man or woman to get what she wanted.
Ophelia calmly nodded her head. “It’s easier if I recreate the scene. I can’t actually remember what happened too clearly. Give me a moment.” She stood up from her chair, lowered her head, and dangled her arms at her sides, palms out. She held that position for several minutes, all Figment eyes focused intently on the top of her head.
Suddenly, Ophelia’s head jerked upright and she unleashed an ethereal scream. It was the kind of scream that could hunt for prey and pierce their eardrums. It was a living breathing entity on its own, birthed from demons living within the screamer. All of the Figments, even Valkyrie, jumped in their chairs, backing away from the terrifying woman before them. Only Coelacanth seemed unfazed, eagerly awaiting this new message from his longtime master. Slowly, the scream simmered down to a calmer tone. Ophelia’s continued to channel her master, singing the following lyrics to a tuneless melody:
“Devout servants, My Brothers and Sisters, My time is nearly nigh. The scales of fate are tipped in My favor. I am crowning from the womb of your efforts but I know there have been complications.
The reality you inhabit is not fully prepared for My presence, too much order yet remains. Do not quail, My kin, My loves. Have faith and wait for the day of My arrival. I portend that We shall be reunited within a galactic heartbeat’s time.
Do not forget, I bring such powerful change that the world as We know it shall cease to exist. In its stead, We will build a world of our own devising. I, Midas the Creator Figment, promise you that.
Go forth, sweet vassals, emissaries of My will, and sing My praise: a dirge of birth and rebirth, eternally repeating.”